July 2012
1 post
June 2012
7 posts
Louis CK on raising a daughter.
Louis CK: If you raise a girl with some confidence and you send her out in the world so she feels like she can do whatever she wants, she's still going to get her face and her ass fucked but she's going to do it on her terms.
Louis CK: She's going to grab that dick by the base and go, "I want to suck this right now".
Louis CK: This should be your goal as a father: That your daughter only sucks a dick that she thinks is delicious.
That moment when your parents are getting mad at... →
the-absolute-funniest-posts:
You’re standing there like:
But when they leave you’re like:
Follow this blog, you will love it on your dashboard
May 2012
1 post
April 2012
11 posts
March 2012
11 posts
Maintenance Maids... ") →
dajeve:
i used to go to mcdonalds in nashville and order a large drink and then while they were handing it to me in the drive thru i would let it slip through my hands onto the ground and start crying(im a really good actor) and then they would get me another and id drop that one too and i would quietly whisper
“im so thirsty”
and drive off crying
dajeve:
i used to go to mcdonalds in nashville and order a large drink and then while they were handing it to me in the drive thru i would let it slip through my hands onto the ground and start crying(im a really good actor) and then they would get me another and id drop that one too and i would quietly whisper
“im so thirsty”
and drive off crying
February 2012
43 posts
ihateghostnotingfollow1612th:
in 4th grade there was this girl who had a collection of furbies and one day she brought like 12 in to class and she was sitting in the back licking them and biting their hair off and i asked her what she was doing and she was like “im feeling them enter me” and then she got sent to the office
Princess Jullianna of Tourance: How To Tick People... →
princessjullianna:
From Artlung.com
HOW TO TICK PEOPLE OFF
Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
In the memo field of all your checks, write “for sexual favors.”
Specify that your drive-through order is “TO-GO.”
If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with…
when new song comes on the hit list
today-is-what-i-have:
at first im like..
then i get more into it…
then comes the chorus comes…
then theres a guitar solo…
then the songs over..
then i find out my moms been watching the whole time..
